How to Address Family Heirlooms in Your Will​

When creating a will, most people focus on financial accounts, real estate, and insurance policies. But what often carries the most sentimental weight are the items that may have little market value but deep emotional meaning—family heirlooms. These are the things that remind us of shared history: a wedding ring passed down through generations, a dining table used for decades of holiday meals, or a grandfather’s watch kept in the family since childhood.

If you live in Pennsylvania and are working on your estate plan, taking time to address your heirlooms can help prevent family tension and ensure your wishes are followed. Without clear instructions, these items can easily become the source of confusion or even conflict after you’re gone.

Why Family Heirlooms Deserve Special Attention

Unlike financial assets, heirlooms often carry personal stories and emotional attachments. That’s what makes them valuable in a different way. Unfortunately, that’s also what makes them more likely to become a source of disagreement among surviving family members.

Even when your family gets along, assumptions about who should receive what can lead to hurt feelings or misunderstandings. A clear plan in your will—and, if appropriate, in supporting documents—can reduce the chance of disputes and make things easier for the people you leave behind.

Start by Identifying the Items That Matter

Begin by making a list of the heirlooms you want to pass down. These don’t have to be worth a lot of money. What matters is their significance to you or your family. Common examples include:

• Jewelry

• Furniture

• Artwork

• Military medals

• Family Bibles

• Dishes or silverware

• Tools or musical instruments

• Scrapbooks and photo albums

Once you’ve made the list, note who you want to receive each item. You can also include a short explanation of why each heirloom matters or why you’re giving it to a particular person. That added context can give meaning to your choices and help your loved ones understand your intentions.

Use a Personal Property Memorandum for Flexibility

In Pennsylvania, you can refer to a separate document in your will that lists specific personal items and who should receive them. This is called a personal property memorandum. It must be mentioned in your will for it to be legally binding.

The benefit of using a memorandum is flexibility. You can update it without having to revise your entire will. So if you acquire a new heirloom or change your mind about who should receive a certain item, you can simply update the list, date it, and keep it with your estate documents.

This works well for distributing tangible personal property like furniture, jewelry, or collectibles. It does not apply to money, real estate, or business interests.

Avoid Leaving Decisions to Others

One common mistake people make is leaving heirlooms to be divided “as my children agree” or “to be shared fairly.” While this may sound kind and cooperative, it often causes confusion. What one person sees as fair, another might view as unfair—especially when emotions run high after a loss.

A better approach is to make the decisions yourself. If you have multiple children, decide in advance who will get what. If you think a particular choice might cause tension, you can explain your reasoning in a separate letter or speak with your family while you are still able to answer questions directly.

This doesn’t guarantee everyone will agree, but it shows that you thought carefully about your choices and made them intentionally.

Consider Sentimental Value Over Market Value

Some heirlooms are valuable in both emotional and financial terms, while others are mostly cherished for personal reasons. When deciding who gets what, think beyond price tags. A handmade quilt, a baseball glove, or a well-worn cookbook may mean far more to a loved one than a high-dollar antique.

Try to match items with people who will value them most. A child who loves to cook might appreciate your grandmother’s recipe box. A grandchild interested in history might treasure your military medals. These personal connections often matter more than equal financial value when it comes to heirlooms.

What Happens if You Don’t Include Heirlooms in Your Will

If your will doesn’t specify who gets your personal belongings, those items will typically become part of your “residuary estate”—everything left over after debts are paid and named assets are distributed. Your executor will then decide how to divide or dispose of the remaining property, often selling it or distributing it equally among your heirs.

This might seem fine in theory, but in practice it can lead to disagreements. One person may want to keep a piece of furniture, while another may expect to sell it and split the money. Without clear instructions, your family may struggle to make decisions or feel hurt by outcomes that don’t match your wishes.

Be Honest About Conflicts and Plan Ahead

If you expect a disagreement over a particular heirloom, plan for it. You might want to address the issue directly with your loved ones while you’re still alive. Talking things through can clear up assumptions and avoid future problems.

You may also want to add a no-contest clause to your will, which discourages heirs from challenging your decisions by threatening to disinherit anyone who contests the will in court. While not always enforceable in every situation, these clauses can serve as a deterrent in some cases.

Work With a Lawyer to Make Your Wishes Clear

Creating a legally sound will is about more than writing down your wishes. It’s about making sure those wishes will be honored. In Pennsylvania, there are specific legal standards that must be met for a will or memorandum to be valid. A mistake in how the documents are written, signed, or witnessed could make your plan unenforceable.

An estate planning attorney can help you create a clear, customized plan that covers your heirlooms and other assets. They can also guide you through any tricky family dynamics or special considerations, such as blended families or estranged relatives.

Conclusion

Your heirlooms are part of your story. They may not show up on a balance sheet, but they hold the memories, traditions, and connections that shape your family’s legacy. By taking the time to include them in your estate plan, you give your loved ones more than just things—you give them peace of mind and a sense of continuity.

If you’re ready to create or update your will and want to make sure your heirlooms are handled the right way, our Pennsylvania estate planning team is here to help. Contact us to schedule a consultation and start building a plan that reflects your values and protects your family’s future.